As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” 


The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?” 

Bible Reading Plan December 2017

Read the following at your own pace during the month of December:

  • Psalms (3 chapters per week)
  • Proverbs (1 chapter per day)
  • Matthew (entire book for month)
  • Mark (entire book for month)
  • Luke (entire book for month)
  • Acts (entire book for month)

But This Dog Can Talk

A fellow walked into an ice cream parlor with his dog under his arm.  “No dogs allowed,” said the owner. 


“But this dog can talk,” said the man.  “Listen, I’ll ask him three questions and if he answers, I eat free here tonight.”


The owner agreed.


“Spot,” called the man, “what’s the opposite of smooth?”


“R-r-ruff,” barked the dog.


Thanksgiving Holiday Schedule

Thanksgiving is coming up this week and there will be a reduced schedule here at FCC_OF so our staff can spend time with their families.  The church offices will close up at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, November 22nd and will reopen on Monday, November 27th.  There will be no Wednesday night Bible Study and Prayer meeting on the November 22nd.  
We hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving.


On their honeymoon, Eric took Louise by the hand and said, “Now that we’re married, dear, I hope you won’t mind if I mention a few little defects that I’ve noticed about you.”


“Not at all,” Louise replied sweetly.  “It was those little defects that kept me from getting a better husband.”

Step Up

We are currently in a teaching series called “Step Up.” Sunday, we answered, why “Step up?” I really believe that God wants us to step up spiritually.

I believe that God doesn’t want you to be content with where you are. I don’t think God wants you to be content to be the same person you were on December 31st of 2016 that you are today. God wants you ‑‑ he wants all of us ‑‑ to step up in our faith.  So, come join us each Sunday at 10 a.m. for this great series.  This Sunday we will be taking about “Step Up for Generosity.”  To get ready for Sunday, read Luke 10:30-37.
If you missed a sermon you can check it out here,

The Jury

Crime figure Joseph Galliono was on trial for first-degree murder.  His lawyer was paid by Mr. Galliono to win this case or at least reduce the charges.  It seemed clear that Mr. Galliono was guilty, but the lawyer was willing to do whatever it took to reduce the charges.  The lawyer approached one of the jurors and was able to bribe him to hold out for the verdict of manslaughter: no other verdict would do.  At the end of the trial, the jury deliberated for over a week.  They finally returned a verdict of manslaughter.


Following in Her Footsteps

On the way to preschool, a doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.


Her heart swelled as the thought that her daughter wanted to follow in her footsteps and be a doctor.


However, the child spoke into the stethoscope:  “Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?

Daylight Savings Time Ends

Just want to remind everyone that this Sunday, November 5, 2017, Daylight Savings Time ends and we need to set our clocks back one hour when we go to bed on Saturday night.  I am not looking forward to it getting darker earlier but I am excited about being able to get an extra hour of sleep.  So, set those clocks and come join us Sunday morning.



Uncle Sid

Uncle Sid underwent an operation at Mercy hospital and came out of the anesthesia.  As he opened his eyes, he asked the nurse, “How come all the shades on the windows are pulled down?”


The nurse said, “The house across the street is on fire, and we didn’t want you to wake up thinking that the operation was a failure.”