Monday, April 23:

Ruth’s Virtue – The awe of the kinsmen redeemer and Ruth the virtuous woman

The city man bought a farm and was visited by his new neighbor.  He asked him, “Can you tell me where the property line runs between our farms?”

The farmer looked him over and asked, “Are you talking owning or mowing?”

Leigh, my five-year-old brother, was listening to my mother and I argued.  When Mom told me that I was just going to have to live with the consequences, Leigh piped up, “If Dory is going to live with consequences, can I have her room?”

The loaded minivan pulled in to the only remaining campsite.  Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent.  The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking untensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.  Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.  When the boat grounded on the beach, the offer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, “With the captain’s compliments.  He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”

Buffet. A French word that means “Get up and get it yourself.”

A business manager, in search of talent within his own organization, passed out a list of questions to his younger workers.  One question asked, “What is your chief reason for believing that you possess executive ability?”

Many of the answers were duplications, but one stood out unequaled.

It read, “I think I would make a very successful executive because I seldom get lonesome, and would not mind working in a private office.”

My father used to tell me, “When Abraham Lincoln was your age, Abraham Lincoln had a job.  When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked twelve miles to get to school.”

I said, “Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President, okay?”

The chief executive officer of an electronics company called in his public relations director.  “Listen, Wilson.  Someone is trying to buy us out.  It’s your job to get the price of our stock up so it’ll be too expensive for them.  I don’t care how you do it, just do it.”  And he did.

When asked how, he replied, “I started a rumor Wall Street obviously liked.”

“What was that?”

“I told them you were resigning.”