I Got a 100 Today

Boy:  I got a hundred in school today.

Father:  That’s great!  What did you get a hundred in?

Boy:  Two things.  I got 50 in spelling and 50 in arithmetic.



Back to Church Sunday

Back to Church Sunday is coming up on September 17. We’re having a special service specifically designed to welcome people back to church, so now is a good time to start praying about who you will invite. Eight out of ten people say they are open to visiting church if invited. That’s powerful! Imagine how our community can be transformed if everyone here invited at least one person to come to church.


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School Bus

Today we spend $60,000 for a school bus to pick up the kids right at the door so they don’t have to walk.  Then we spend over a million dollars for a gym so the kids can get some exercise.

 



According to Statistics

According to statistics, last year over 23-million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn’t work.  Three million of those were antiques, the rest were college students.

 



God’s Got This

Good Friday morning to you!  I know some may be thinking, good, have you watched the news lately, how can we call what is going on good!  But today is good, because God’s Got This!

 

There once was a small boy who sailed his toy boat on a pond.  The boat floated out of his reach, and he appealed to a larger boy to help him.  This boy, without saying a word, picked up rocks and began throwing them out near the boat. 


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You Owe $0.00

A Kansas man received a computerized bill from a store showing that he owed “$00.00.”  He discarded it.

 

The next month he received another bill stating, “This account is now past due.”  He circled the zeros and returned it.

 

A few days later came a scorching computer letter exhorting him to pay his debt of $00.00.  The man finally mailed a check in the amount of $00.00.  He received no further pleas from the store.

 



You Belong

Back to Church Sunday is coming up on September 17.
 
We’re having a special service specifically designed to welcome people back to church, so now is a good time to start praying about who you will invite. Eight out of ten people say they are open to visiting church if invited. That’s powerful! Imagine how our community can be transformed if everyone here invited at least one person to come to church.


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You’d Never Believe It

Have you ever thought about how some of the events in the Bible sounds to those who haven’t heard them before.  

 

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.  “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.  Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements.  They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”


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I’ll Be Right on Down

One small mountain church is located by a frequently-traveled road.  Sometimes during services, the church PA picks up CB broadcasts from passing motorists.  The CB’ers, of course are unaware that their voices are being heard in a meeting.

 

Once, the pastor began a prayer, saying, “O Lord, we beseech you to meet our various needs . . .”

 

Suddenly he was interrupted by a loud voice that crackled over the PA, “I’ll be right on down!”

 



Old MacDonald

Three contestants in a television quiz show were down to the last round.  The master of ceremonies explained the final question.  “I’m going to give you a phrase with a word missing at the end.  Come up with the missing word and you’ll win our grand prize – an all-expenses paid two-week trip to Europe.  Ready?  The phrase is, ‘Old MacDonald has a ______.’  And remember, you must not only name the missing word.  You must spell it.”

The first contestant answered: “Old MacDonald had a ranch – r-a-n-c-h.”

The studio audience moaned.

The second contestant tried: “Old MacDonald had a barn – b-a-r-n.

More groaning.

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